George asked:
What is pre-marital counseling?
Pre -marital counseling aims at helping the individual to become more effective person; to have an over all insight of marriage and family life. Help to enter into a satisfactory marital life and to make effective adjustments.
a. Together the counselor and client explore the strength and weakness of the client, which might provide the client sources and avenues of personal growth, aiming at the future marriage that is ahead.
b. B. It aims at achieving an ability to adjust with the needs and demands of common life in a family.
2. Pre-marital information service [class] is to provide accurate, up-to date , exhaustive and reliable pre-knowledge of marriage , so that the candidate is able to make better choice and or take wiser decisions.
If the client comes with specific problems , the counselor cooperatively work with the client, that the client may get more insight to solve it.
There should a counselor [leader] and counselee [student] or the one who seek help, who is called client.
Qualities of a counselor.
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1.The counselor should have an exemplary knowledge of what marriage is and the role of men and women in marriage.
2.A Christian counselor should have a strong faith in God.
3.Should have a helping attitude.
4.One who understand his own abilities , liabilities and weakness.
5. One who is able to relate theories and life situations.
6.Able to accept the client with his own weakness.
7. A sensible person[
8. Should have leadership quality.
9. Able to hear problems of the client.
10.Should have genuineness.
11. Should have empathy.
12.Should not have counter transference.
Pre-marital counseling group
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The pre-marital counseling group has a common goal. They belong to a more or less same age group, have capacity for self direction.. They are
1. Either seek assistance voluntarily or.
2. Referred by some one.
Some of them may cooperate or may not cooperate.
Factors affecting readiness of the client.
1. Ignorance 2.Resistance. 3. Lack of motivation. 4.
Some other problems which hinder the counseling process are.
1. Some clients may not believe in the efficiency of the counselor.
2. Some clients or their parents may take no responsibility and they will think that the counselor will do everything for them.
3. About the teaching sessions, some candidates may have prejudice. They may think that this is the place where we teach sexuality before marriage.
4. Immaturity on the part of client to understand or to cop-up with the counseling process or sessions.
5. No much time to spend.
6. The counselee [client] may be afraid of facing facts[ to open up]
7. Some may come after the marital selection; they need to understand the method of adjustment. Some may be in the process of selecting a partner. Thus they are in the fantasy stage.