dhlim88 asked:
How to manage conflict with your ex love partner using the making up relationship tips approach for your entire lifetime?
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Relationship Conflicts
Relationship conflicts are fuelled by allowing emotions to dictate behaviour. We seem to forget that emotions are just emotions. They are not right or wrong, good or bad. However, when we operate from a place of allowing our emotions to propel, the reactions can become the problems as a result.
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Managing conflict becomes much easier when we introduce logic to the process. This does not mean it is good to ignore your feelings. Allow yourself to have whatever emotions you have. Acknowledge them as how you feel. Use them as one form of information. Then, decide how you want to respond to the interpersonal conflict you are faced with.
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Reactions are derived from emotions alone. Responses have the advantage of consulting with your brain before taking action.
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Dealing with Conflict
Conflict in relationships is exacerbated when we think we must defend ourselves. Given that most people do not intentionally harm those they love, this is illogical. In fact, the majority of things leading to hurt feelings were never meant to have that outcome. No matter how upset you are, make a leap of faith that your partner loves you and wants you to be happy. When you attribute the problem to miscommunication vs. he/she doesn’t care or is trying to hurt you, it diffuses the emotional charge. Once your emotions have stopped telling you to attack or run, you have the benefit of logical thought. As you can imagine, this offers a tad more clarity to your perspective. In turn, resolution of the conflict becomes easier.Â
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 Handling Conflict
Interpersonal conflict, whether family conflict or conflict in the workplace, is often dealt with in non-productive ways. Two traditional approaches are avoiding conflict and managing conflict. A third option is conflict resolution.
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As you can imagine, and probably have experienced, avoiding conflict is problematic. There is no opportunity for resolution and a back log of negative experiences starts to accumulate. These unidentified or unresolved conflicts simmer under the surface causing a general feeling of irritability between the involved parties. Perceptions, feelings and interactions between the parties become colour. Eruptions over minor matters, at seemingly random times, may also occur.
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Managing conflict can have a better outcome than avoidance. However, to minimize harm, it must be done in a purposeful way. This is an ongoing process in which goals are set, frequent and honest communication occurs and differences are discussed openly. When actual resolution of the conflict is unlikely, it is best to establish such a plan.
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Conflict resolution works to resolve problems in a mutually favourable manner. This approach goes beyond acknowledging and coping with conflict. At its best, it embraces conflict as an invaluable means for achieving ongoing learning and growth.
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Viewing conflict as an opportunity for growth can go against instinctive responses. When conflict arises, we often feel attacked. Our fight or flight response may be triggered. We think we must choose between passivity and defence. However, if you don’t personalize the problem (i.e. make it about you) then this level of reaction becomes unneeded. Instead, you can logically look at the situation, open to the other person’s input, and decide together what can be done to help make things better.
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Indeed, life is short. Don’t let another day go by without taking a chance on happiness. You will never know until you try, so remember to make a move today. It can change or affect the rest of your life, therefore, at the very least, you can try to come out something for your ex love partner during your weekend plans. With a little practice, perseverance and patience, I believe that your relationship could be enhanced with the tips that I have shared earlier. If you have faced any problems with your loved ones, do not hesitate to visit this piece of article again.
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I really have a strong belief that if you can understand what I have explained and applied what you have learnt from this piece of article, your problems can be eventually solved and your making up relationship can become more stable and stronger. I wish all the best for your making up relationship with your partner. Do always remember to spread word of mouth to your fellow friends for supporting the decision of having making up than breaking up.
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