Sharron Nixon asked:
ally, you can’t expect happily ever after to be brought to you via a magic wand. But having the perfect relationship doesn’t mean you have to take a leaf out of the drab, dull and boring book.
A happy and long term relationship can be very attainable, lasting well past the over-glorified honeymoon period. All that is needed is the willingness to work at it even when things get tough – because as with any partnership, there’s no doubt that at some stage, things will definitely get tough.
A healthy relationship can be likened to a healthy body. We are all very aware that your body requires the essentials of proper feeding, consistent exercise and adequate rest, and these requirements can be applied equally to your relationship. It too needs constant reassurance, sufficient time together and, in my belief the absolute key – communication.
Communication is the element within a relationship that ensures that it is kept in good shape, much like exercise to your body.
A very common misconception is that communication needs words, and a rigid schedule that requires the parties to sit down and talk. If anything, sometimes these things could prove more of a downfall than a benefit to your relationship.
While its true that couples should find the time to talk regularly, communication extends to non-verbal, and in most cases, far more powerful attributes. Body language is one of the most powerful ways that we communicate with each other.
For example, it’s pretty much of a certainty that if your partner has their arms crossed while you are talking to them, they are not at their most receptive. Seeing your partner’s body stiffen and tense up when you bring up a particular subject may mean that the topic you are discussing causes stress for them.
Another example of non-verbal communication is to watch how your partner performs the everyday, common place tasks, and see if they are doing anything differently. Maybe he is spending more time with his mates, maybe she’s spending more time at the hairdressers.
It can be hoped that your partnership is at a level where you can interpret these different actions correctly, especially if your relationship has been in existence for a decent period of time.
Sometimes these things can be perfectly innocent, but they could be a key that something is not quite right. And it may not be anything directly to do with your relationship, but it’s a good thing to become aware of these situations, and perhaps show some sensitivity, compassion and understanding.
You can use these non-verbal cues in many ways, and you need to attempt to deduce what is happening within your relationship. Maybe your partner is reluctant to say something, but they really want to.
As can be seen with your body, where instant results don’t come with a few exercise sessions, this same principle applies equally to your relationship.
Communication is the key. Although it doesn’t mean that you will never have relationship problems, it definitely can help in fixing future problems.