Women in Leadership

Why Must Men Make the First Move?

Leon Casey asked:

Why Must Men Make the First Move?

Here’s a typical scenario: a woman asks a man for advice or input, and he answers: “sure, whatever you want is fine with me.” Now I want to ask you: is it a bad or a good answer?

Well… Bad of course… unless you want to be a woman’s doormat.

Now it’s your turn to ask me a question.

“What does it have to do with men having to make the first move?



Read on.

Did you ever go to a mall, a lounge or any public place, saw a woman you found exquisitely attractive and didn’t gather the courage to talk to her? And you said to yourself, “why do we have to do this damn first move?”

Here’s a hint: this is your duty as an alpha or masculine man.

Hold on I didn’t say I doubted your masculinity.

I just said it was your duty to make the first step.

Same thing with having to initiate the first kiss – by the way wait until the end of the article to read a favourite tip of mine for this.

Before I share my perspective on “why should men initiate”, let’s get back to the guy that said “whatever you want is fine with me.”

What does such an answer demonstrate about a man? Lack of leadership, lack of decisiveness, not enough alphaness… you name it.

“Yeah but why do we have to lead all the time? Couldn’t we relax from time to time?”

If you don’t want to listen to me, maybe will you pay attention to what dating expert Tiffany Taylor has to say about this (yes she’s indeed a woman):

“Forget about what you’ve heard about women’s lib and a change in the rules – we want to be overwhelmed, and you’re just the man to do it.”

Yes indeed. Not only women want to be led, they want to be overwhelmed.

And so, how does this “man should initiate” rule manifest in the courtship? Simple… the man has to start the conversation and then he has to make sure he’s the one who’s initiating every next phase during the course of a courtship, from getting a woman’s contact info to going for the kiss up through the next levels of intimacy.

Everything I’m about to share with you from now on, you can share it with a woman, she’ll be blown away.

As a masculine man, you don’t want to force women to make decisions (outside a business or work environment that is). This is a man’s responsibility to lead. Not only is it a responsibility but it’s actually a gift, your gift as a man.

Sure from time to time it may be good for some women to learn to activate their capacity to make decisions. But in the end you don’t want women to become their own men. Feminine energy does not lead.

This time, I want to challenge your reality by asking you a one million dollar question: what attracts women to men in the first place? I already hear the conventional answers coming… confidence… status… money… looks.

Well here is the one million dollar answer – drums rolling –


stems from

the force of masculine/feminine polarity.


Yes indeed. It is that force that attracts men and women to begin with.

So your role as a man so to speak is to cultivate your masculine pole. That’s why you want to initiate and move things forward. That’s why you want to be the prime mover. It is your way of playing your part in maintaining the masculine/feminine polarity.

When that polarity disappears…Guess what?… Pouff… Attraction disappears.

Are you still not convinced “whatever you want is fine with me” is not a good answer?

If you don’t play the Alpha Man’s part, women will have to take charge. And feminine women do not like to take charge. They want to relax in the presence of a masculine man. By the way you like feminine women don’t you?

I’ll leave you with a bonus: it is my great pleasure to share with you a small tip on how to initiate a kiss. With the step of initiating a conversation, this is the single one step men have the most difficulties with.

When you hesitate whether it should be the time to kiss a woman, then it is time! Some people developed very elaborated routines in order to kiss a woman. Have you heard of the blah blah phase shift? Again, it does not have to be complicated.

Here are some simple steps: Relax your gaze into her eyes, stay silent, lightly caress her hair – if a woman lets you caress her hair, it’s on (but do not check if it is ok, that’s not the sign of an alpha man) – keep eye contact, and then… well… kiss her!

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