James Lockwood asked:
In the recent years, many products have been released in the market to help men increase their success with women. Many of the books and audio programs contained information on specific tips and techniques to help men chase women and land dates with them.
According to Swinggcat, an up-and-coming dating guru and seduction specialist, most of these ‘self-help for men’ products were fundamentally flawed. “Some of these books and audio courses have some great ideas,” he said. “However, a lot of what they say is coming from the wrong frame.”
Swinggcat, a former student of the originator of Speed Seduction Ross Jeffries, wrote a book which he called the “official underground book of dating secrets most women don’t want you to know”, aptly titled Real World Seduction. A rising seduction guru in his own right, he was ranked as the number one pickup guru by Joseph Matthews (aka Thundercat) in his popular blog, “Thundercat’s Seduction Lair”.
How real world seduction is different from what we read in magazines or watch on TV
The basic premise of real world seduction is the paradigm shift in defining who the ‘prize’ is in a social interaction. For example, if a man chases a woman, the woman is automatically assumed to be the prize. Based on this idea, Swinggcat’s solution to the dilemma of ‘chasing women’ is to stop chasing them, but instead start to ‘prize’ them. “Prizing is getting a woman so emotionally charged that she is compelled to court, chase and pursue you,” says Swinggcat.
Note that this is different from what we watch on TV or in the movies where the men would automatically assumes the role of the ‘chaser’, and thus portrayed as the one with lower social value compared to the woman (or the ‘chasee’).
How to be the prize? Men who are the prize consistently display a set of attributes which women find attractive. Below is a list (not exhaustive by any means) of the traits of the man who is the prize. Let’s go through some of these traits.
1. A strong leader. Men who are the prize are not afraid to take the lead. Unsurprisingly, leadership is a characteristic which would turn on most women.
2. A chooser. Men who have high standards (not only in choosing women they want to be with but also in all aspects of their lives) have high appeal to women.
3. A challenge. It is human nature that we only treasure things which require work in order to possess them. By being challenging, a man would increase his value in the eyes of the woman.
Swinggcat further outlines many more characteristics of the ‘prize’ (having sense of humor, being comfortable with themselves, and being vulnerable among others) in Real World Seduction. In conclusion, real world seduction centers on the ‘prizability’ of the man, and the role reversal whereby the woman who is traditionally assumes the role of the ‘chasee’ becomes the chaser instead. By adopting this mindset, the man would find themselves in an advantageous position in interacting with the woman, where the woman would feel compelled to chase the man instead.