Alex Coulson asked:
â€œUltimately, weâ€™re all dead men. Sadly, we cannot choose how but, what we can decide is how we meet that end, in order that we are remembered, as menâ€ â€“ Proximo
If Mama ainâ€™t happy, nobody is happy
Modern men go through a process of sissification, we are raised by our mother, who out of love teach us to be a nice guy, our father is not there, we have no mature masculine men around to teach us how to be a man, as a result, we modern men are a group of over grown boys with insecurities and without a clear purpose in life.
A childâ€™s first object relation, his or her first identification, is with the mother. In order to become a â€œmanâ€, however, the young male must proceed from the primary identification with the mother to identification with the father. This transfer of identification is such a delicate and hazardous process that in tribal societies it is underscored by rites of initiation designed to help the adolescent boy begin his life as an adult man.
The initiation of adolescent males is one of the most highly structured and widespread rituals in the world, rituals for adolescent girls, although they do exist, are not universal and are often less elaborated. Actually, as far as sexual identity is concerned, we might say that WOMEN ARE, WHILE MEN HAVE TO BE MADE. The onset of menstruation, which signals the adolescent girlâ€™s ability to have children, establishes the feminine identity and provides, as it were, a natural initiation through which she moves from girlhood to womanhood. For men, however, nature has to be supplemented by an education process in order to transfer the primary identification away from the mother.
This biological reality seems to explain the fact that masculine identity needs, at least on a psychological level, to be constantly reinforced and regularly supported by other masculine presences in order to remain stable.
Absent Fathers, Lost Sons, Guy Corneau
Ask most any man â€œhow does it feel to be a man these days? Do you feel manhood is honoured, respected, celebrated?â€ Those who pause long enough to consider their gut feelings will likely tell you they feel blamed, demeaned, and attacked. But their reactions may be pretty vague. Many men feel as if they are involved in a night battle in a jungle against an unseen foe. Voices from the surrounding darkness shout hostile challenges: â€œMen are too aggressive. Too soft. Too insensitive. Too macho. Too power-mad. Too much like little boys. Too wimpy. Too violent. Too obsessed with sex. Too detached to care. Too busy. Too rational. Too lost to lead. Too dead to feelâ€ Exactly what we are supposed to become is not clear. Fire in the Belly, Sam Keen
I believe as human being (males and females) we all got the same qualities and resources but every gender developed certain qualities more according to what history and evolution required form us.
As a natural process women are deeply attracted to the masculine energy, they can not help but be attracted to it, so you have to develop masculine characteristics, but what is that ?, what identify us as men ?
o Have a purpose in life
o Assume responsibility for your actions and situation
o Acknowledge your emotions but you are not controlled by them
o Clarity of thoughts, Willpower, Decision and Action
o Keep death in mind
o Composure in the face of competition and conflict/Powerful sense of self
o Sexual Confidence
o Mature Masculine Boundaries
o Is looking for a woman not for a mother
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