Louis Bonaventura asked:
Imagine yourself as a dart board. Everything and everyone else around you may become dart, at one point or another. These darts will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which darts should you avoid?
Dart #1: A Negative Work Environment
Beware of the “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy environment. one of my friends used to say “The best part about banging your head on the wall is how good it feels when you stop!” How true!!
Dart #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers: all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme. Stay away from them as mich as possible!
Dart #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Some changes will make life difficult for a while. They may cause stress, but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we are susceptible to it. it is inevitable anmd we must be comfortable with its presence..
Dart #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.
Dart #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. In other words, don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of the worst situations.
Dart #6: Determination Theory
Your behavioral traits are said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, your company, the economy, and your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experiences, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
Sometimes, you will wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”
In life, its hard to stay tough. Especially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right weapons to bring and armor to use. We need to pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us an array of additional options. Along the battle, we will get hit, kicked, and bruised. Wearing a bullet proof armor (ideally) means “self change” or “self improvement.” This is the kind of change which only comes from within ourselves, voluntarily. Armor, or Self Change, changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.
Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination.
So how do you start erecting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to pay a compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem. This is your start to self improvement.