Joe Farcht asked:
As a parent of two grown boys, I did my best, but I could have done better. I learned from my experience. I have a wonderful granddaughter with whom I practice personal leadership and it works. I must admit though, that she teaches me.
I am going to share with you powerful thoughts about modeling, understanding personality differences, and encouraging children to follow their passion in service to others.
First and most important, a parent must learn and develop themselves in order to help their children learn, develop, and use their unlimited potential and greatness. You can only fill another vessel if your own vessel is full. That means working on yourself to develop new understandings, skills, and competencies that will fill you with positive emotions, happiness and joy.
When you experience these higher states of being, then you can share with your spouse or significant other and children the joy and happiness you feel. You will understand the leader development process and be able to lead them in discovering and learning the same things but in their own way.
Ignorance of the wisdom of life is the enemy of enlightened parents and the development of fully functional and happy children. You have to become a model of developing your own unlimited potential and greatness before you can help others.
Your personal leadership model will be duplicated and replicated not only in your children but with all those with whom you interact.
I expected my boys to be just like me. I worked hard in school, college, in all my first careers, and in every situation that life threw at me. I expected my own sons to do the same. However, they had totally different personalities from me!
The problem was that I was not aware of that until they had grown up and left home to create their own lives. How could I be so unaware?
I set a goal to learn about the different personality types that are described by Myers-Briggs. There are 16 different personality types defined by two attitudes and two mental processes. My pursuit of studying and understanding those differences has dramatically helped me understand the personality and life paths of my sons. It has also enriched my relationships with family members, friends, acquaintances, and the people who I coach and help.
The acquisition of knowledge in this area can only help you encourage your children to develop into successful and competent young adults.
When a child is learning and growing in an area of passion, then life and growing up becomes a joy. When we are forced to participate in activities that are hard, distasteful, and stressful, life can become a drag. Which would you rather do?
Deepak Chopra charged his children to seek their unique mission in life where they would experience passion and joy. He encouraged them to find their unique mission where they would make meaningful contributions in service to others. He promised to provide for them as long as they were searching. Grades were not important, status was not important, sports were not important, and everything else was irrelevant.
Finding their unique life mission and passion in service to others was the only goal. Dr. Chopra’s children found what they were looking for and now they are happy and successful.
Parents, encourage your children to seek the same things, for if you do and they can discover their passion, their life will be one of unimagined ease, happiness, joy, and success.
My search for becoming a better person, father, husband, coach, and business leader led me to discovering great things about personal leadership development.
Modeling the attitudes and behaviors of outstanding personal leadership help me help my granddaughter and all those with whom I interact. Learning about differences in personalities and how I may exert more effective influence with different people has been invaluable.
Working in my own unique mission and area of passion has made all the difference in my own joy and happiness. I know that the same will be true for you and your children.
I want to share one story with you about my granddaughter. My wife and I started spending every other weekend with her when she was two and one-half years old. I am a big believer in affirmations. We started to tell her that she was a smart girl. We repeated this affirmation over and over again and still do that to this day.
About six months into using the affirmation while traveling to a local restaurant, she shouted out, “I’m a smart girl!” She knows she is smart and guess what she will grow up to become?
You can’t ignore this message. Take stock of your own family leadership position. Are you filled with the understanding and wisdom that this message conveys?
If not, what will you do? Set some goals “To Become” more knowledgeable is a great way to start. Then act on those goals to become a better model, understand children and people more completely, and to encourage your children to seek their unique mission and passion for serving their fellow human beings. Life will smile upon you if you do.