Conflict Resolution

Sibling Rivalry and Your Nanny Surveillance System

Nahshon Roberts asked:

Sibling rivalry happens for a lot of reasons, which include individual personalities, unique needs, feelings of jealousy and inferiority. No matter the reason, it is up to you, their parents, to help your kids get along better and resolve their conflicts. You can use your nanny surveillance system to this end.

When, Where and Why Conflicts Occur

With your nanny surveillance system, you can determine the time of day when the fights occur. You can also ascertain the cause of the conflicts through video playbacks of the arguments. More importantly, you can establish how the discord was resolved, if ever.

You can establish a pattern of conflicts in this way. By doing so, you can come up with solutions to help your children avoid the stressful situations. For example, if the issue is television rights, then perhaps agreeing to a set schedule of who gets to watch a show at what time could avert future conflicts.

Of course, you should not tell your kids that a nanny surveillance system is used on them. You can even gauge how your nanny handles sibling rivalry and together you can work on solutions to the problem.

Compliance to Ground Rules

Since you cannot be with your children at home all the time, your nanny surveillance system will be your eyes and ears in monitoring your kids’ compliance to the ground rules. These rules of conflict should be agreed by all parties involved, even by your nanny.

Ground rules could include no physical violence of any kind (punching, pinching, kicking, etc), no name-calling, no yelling and provocative facial expressions, no making fun of the other, and no tattling. Even if you are not there and they report later on, you will know who violated the rules. Again, do not tell them about the use of the nanny surveillance system. And do not take sides.

Preventing Sibling Abuse

When sibling rivalry is progressing into sibling abuse, you need to take immediate action. Sibling abuse can either be physical, emotional, and sexual. You can prevent it when you do not allow sibling rivalry to go unnoticed and unresolved.

However, should you be unable to adequately address sibling rivalry and it escalates to violence and other extreme behaviors, you will need professional help. Your video footages from the nanny surveillance camera can assist in determining the approaches to be used.

What to Do In Sibling Rivalry

In most instances, it is best not to intervene when sibling conflict occurs. If you do so, you will be reinforcing feelings of being the underdog in one child and being the favorite in the other child.

Instead, you can help your kids resolve their conflicts on their own. You can teach them the skills necessary in conflict resolution such as compromise, respect, sharing and listening. Then, you can tell them that you have confidence that they can resolve their differences on their own.

Most importantly, you need to be a role model for your children. Learn to manage your conflicts and control your anger. Do not yell at your kids and teach them to express their feelings without yelling and name-calling.

Indeed, the analogy about the apple not falling far from the tree is true!

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