Communicating as a Leader

Swivel Barstools Can Get You Dates

Marc Hardey asked:

Imagine yourself watching TV at your favorite pub. You’re certain there’s no truth to those beer commercials. You bought the “right” beer, but there are no bikini-clad women in sight. Just when you think about calling it a night, however, a beautiful woman sashays into the bar. She takes the swivel barstool beside you, and then tries to catch your eye. So, you make your move. You stand up. You pick up the chair and move it 90 degrees towards the goddess. Then, you sit back down. That was a loser move. Your odds of success would have improved with a swivel barstool. Yes, the humble swivel barstool – that seat you barely glance at before you sit on it – can do wonders for your love life! Believe it or not, an inanimate swivel barstool can help improve the social interaction of two people in bars, thus playing a key role in the dating game.

How You Say It

In a way, stools can talk. Experts have learned that verbal communication only makes up about 7% of our whole communication. The other 93%, while based a little on how we talk, is mostly anchored on our body language. Objects in our environment, including swivel barstools, contribute to our non-verbal communication. If our back is rigidly pressed up against a stool’s backrest while our arms glued to the armrests, one might think we are bracing ourselves for escape. That, or a fight. But if we lean forward slightly on the stool, with our elbows resting on the armrests and our fingers neatly interlocked, we give off an entirely different message.

A Numbers Game

With most communication being non-verbal, it is wise to master it when playing the dating game. A social scientist once conducted an interesting experiment. He sat on a park bench and asked 100 women, all of them complete strangers, for a first date. Ninety-nine of the women said “no,” and the one woman who said “yes” later stood him up.

The Eyes Have It

The only way to win the dating game is to know all the rules. Experts have observed that in terms of physical interaction, people always fall in love the same way. In fact, the phenomenon is not specific to any particular nation, locale, or situation. First, two people make eye contact, then one of them gives positive body language to other person. Body language could come in the form of a nod, wave, or “point.” Points can be done with a finger, arm, leg, or inanimate object. After this happens, either of the people approaches the other, entering his or her “personal space.” Eventually, the two people’s bodies directly face each other. This is where the swivel barstool comes in handy. Spinning around aimlessly on the chair could humor Miss Blonde Bombshell or Mr. Right, but it’s also possible it might not. The swivel barstool’s 360 degree range of motion, however, turns an ordinary stool into a “power seat.”

Report and Rapport

In dating, this “power seat” swivel barstool functions differently for men and women. Men typically “report” in their communication, while women usually prefer “rapport.” Studies have shown that adult men prefer to communicate with each other side-by-side, as if they were riding in a vehicle. Eye-to-eye contact among male humans and animals is often considered threatening. On the other hand, women prefer to communicate with each other face-to-face, in order to deepen their bond. So, men like to be approached from their side, while women prefer others to be approached from the front. Remember this rule when that special someone on a swivel barstool catches your eye. In dating, swivel barstools are more than seats; they can be accomplices. They even the odds in your favor by making you approachable from any side any time.


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