Communicating as a Leader

Long Distance Relationship Tips for Christian Singles

Rakesh Nair asked:

Relationships are complex bonds between two individuals and long distance relationships add a lot more aspects to it. One of the basic premises of a long-distance relationship is the absence of physical presence. This means the couple is missing the non-verbal communication input of any conversation or interaction. Non-verbal communication is typically an equal or more important part of communication. It’s important that individuals don’t read between the lines and assume their partner’s intentions or reactions. We tend to get carried away and imagine or rather I should say fantasize about unrealistic expectations from our partners. It is important to realize the absence of non-verbal communication and spend more time communication over the phone. This is just one of the step towards cementing your long distance relation.

The next step should be to meet each other. This should be a mutual decision and should be approached gradually. Typically it should be the man making the trip to visit the woman but the other way could work too. The most important thing is safety. The first few meetings should take place in a public place and if possible as a group date with a friend. Yes, you might think that you know the person very well but you always have to be cautious. It’s better to safe than sorry.

Each of you should visit each other and experience the world that you live in. Its important to personally see how each interacts with their friends and relatives and also get a real life feel of the person’s personality and behavior. You need to observe each other very minutely during these visits to catch any negative signals. Remember irrelevant negative signals during dating turn out to be marriage breakers.

Once you notice that the relation is turning serious, its time to visit your ministry. There are many books and questionnaires that you could read and discuss with your partner over the phone. Many of the questions help you to discuss issues like childbirth, faith and other issues to build a solid marriage. Before moving relation to marriage, you seek a good Christian counselor who is experienced in pre-martial counseling. You should spend a few sessions with this counselor talking about pre-martial life and married life.

Long distance relationships do work but like all other relations we should have realistic expectations and we should be patient to let time decide if the person is your soul mate. Don’t make a hurried decision. God’s spirit is the best guide through this process.

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