Mark Denekamp asked:
I remember one of the consultants I worked with when I was doing my early training in obstetrics and gynaecology. He was the head of the whole operation. And well respected too. Having emigrated from Britain he had set a number of initiatives in place which had raised the standard of the hospital, management of data and analysis.
However he had an unfortunate habit of being rather overbearing about his pet hospital. And one morning I had copped it. Getting into the lift with him after a night working I was suddenly bawled out for a delivery that occurred overnight. There had been some signs of fetal distress and I, still a student, had been the senior person in the room. He quivered and exploded and left me rather intimidated. Just an example of the sort of way he could be at times.
Naturally I wished to avoid him as much as possible in the future. And I was exceedingly glad in my later training to be in another hospital he was not part of. I saw him at occasional combined training meetings only. That was much safer.
Well we all can have our moments when under stress with our jobs, our expectations, and when things do not run exactly how we thought they should.
Which is all by way of introducing the idea of communication.
In all we do in network marketing, as in all aspects where we interact with people in the rest of life, communication is vitally important. Conducted poorly it can lead to misunderstandings. And certain communications can also leave a lasting impression. The lasting ones we would prefer would be the positive ones that move people.
So often we can slip back into the idea that communication is all about the words. We spend years at school perfecting this. Debating societies can major on this. And yet verbal communication (as far as the words go) carries only 7% of the message people take on board from us.
Tone of Voice:
A larger proportion 25% or so is the tone of voice. My obstetric consultant’s tone of voice certainly conveyed a lot more than just a written record of the words would have shown!
And the rest, the largest percentage, is made up of non-verbal cues – body language, breathing, body movements, gestures, eye contact and eye movements etc.
This huge percentage is where we pick up our idea of congruence – do the words fit what we are non-verbally being told? Here is where we seek out the truth or honesty of the words we are hearing. It is a vital part of the data we process.
On the internet the situation is similar but affected by specific factors of the medium. So much can be just words. Written or otherwise. Pictures and videos can give more detail. And the communication modalities discussed above show why these are so powerful.
Even without pictures though a lot can be read from internet contact. The regularity of contact gives an idea of trustworthiness. If the content comes across as “canned” though, it may be interpreted as mechanical and handled simply by auto- responders. The value is lowered. We crave, or deeply value, true human contact.
The consistency of the messages also helps in our judgments. In the days of letter writing people could often learn more about the person they were corresponding with than in face-to-face encounters. As the letter, as with e-mail, is a complete document more of the message can be conveyed at one sitting. We do not have visual cues of facial and body reactions to what we are saying to cause us to moderate or alter our delivery. Hence it may seem more true.
Some feeling for the posture of the writer can be gained through the messages. Again this is extra feedback. The relatively rapid responses e-mail allows also gives another level of data for us to process – rapid responses, delays and irregularity all tell us something.
Like all communication, though, how one person interprets the full data can be completely at variance from the way the next person does. We all chose our frames of reference and come with our our own coloured backgrounds which all affect what we ultimately take on board.
Some internet communication does involve some similar cues to face-to-face ones, but there are different aspects being sorted. If we remember what we value in people though there should be no difficulty in prospecting and sharing opportunities with people on the net.