Communicating as a Leader

Building an Excellent Rapport with Your Friends through Nlp

Kris Koonar asked:

Have you ever met a person you have instantly liked? There are some people you have immediate rapport with and there are some you just cannot talk to inspite of sharing the same interests. You may have had a negative perception of a person before meeting him, but when you meet him, all your defences seem to melt away and you find yourself building a rapport with that person.

Building a rapport with a person can happen instantly or it just does not happen. Yet, there are ways that you can make this happen. If you are able to create a rapport with people you just meet, they become your friends and begin to trust you. Be it your friend, your boss or a client, you will notice that building a rapport will make all the difference. But what is rapport?

Let us say that rapport stands for Really All People Prefer Others Resembling Themselves. NLP training helps you gain instant rapport with almost anybody.

Rapport is an art of communication. Communication happens on two levels, verbal and non verbal. You may have noticed that many a time, you speak very well, have all the right information, say things that people want to hear, yet you do not have the desired effects on them. That is because your non verbal communication is not in sync with what you are speaking. NLP is the best tool to help you in this. NLP targets the subconscious mind, the part of the brain that controls your body language, tone and pitch of your voice as well as facial expression.

Going by the definition of rapport, to successfully impress a person you need to behave like them, you have to be like a mirror of their behaviours. Now you will say that if we copy a person, he is bound to get angry with us. Well, using NLP the person will not even notice what you are doing and before you know it, he will begin trusting you. What you are trying to do here is to impress the person’s subconscious that you two are very similar and people tend to trust those who are like them.

How do you do this? First of all, you need to study the person’s behaviour very carefully. Begin with talking. Is he talking fast? Notice his breathing. Now slowly, try to emulate this behaviour while you speak. Increase your breathing and talk faster. If you practise this and do it very subtly in front of the person, he will not notice that you have copied him; rather he will subconsciously think that you are similar to him. Then match his emotional intensity, the tone and pitch of his voice. Make sure that you do not seem blatant or out of character while you are doing this. As you practise more, you will notice how effectively you are building a rapport with your friends.

NLP is highly effective when it is practiced as a discipline. You will be able to utilize your rapport building skills everywhere you go, with whoever you meet. Just think of all the possibilities! You could get the job of your dreams, have good relations with friends and family, and impress your boss and colleagues and so on.


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