Scarlett Capelli asked:
Experts have done many different studies on children and their birth order in the family unit. Not surprisingly, children developed similar characteristics according to their position in the family. Firstborn children displayed several traits, both good and bad.
Older children are generally successful adults, although many are unsatisfied with their lives. This characteristic may be due to the firstborn’s interaction with his parents. The relationship between parents and their firstborn child is one of undistracted love and attention as well as unspoken pressure for the child to succeed. The child may succeed in meeting his parents’ expectations but may also become worried about failure. As a result of this anxiety, a child may set his own standards of success even higher than those that his parents have for him. As an adult, this child will find that he is rarely satisfied with his life, never finding any lasting happiness.
Children who are the oldest in the family also showed good leadership qualities. This trait could be due to the fact that many oldest children care for their other siblings and have become accustomed to responsibility. This factor can also cause certain children to become too overbearing, expecting everyone else to do what they tell them to.
As a parent, there are several things that you can do to help your firstborn grow into a contented adult. You should try to spend a little one-on-one time with your child, preferably taking him to a place where he can act his age. You can also make sure that he spends time with older children so he does not feel like he has to be the leader all the time.
You should also be careful not to depend on your oldest child too much. You should avoid giving him too many responsibilities around the house. You should also remember that you are the parent of all your children and that it is not your oldest child’s responsibility to watch his younger siblings all the time. Firstborn children who “raise” their younger siblings can become overbearing and resentful, blaming the other children for the loss of their childhood. They might also feel responsible if any of their siblings have serious problems in their lives as adults.
Many firstborn children are picky and expect perfection from everyone around them. They follow rules to the letter and do not like when something unexpected happens. To help your oldest child minimize these traits, you should try not to expect so much from your child. Encourage him to do the best that he can and support him when he does fail. If you notice that he is becoming a perfectionist, talk to him and try to get him to relax. If you feel that you are a perfectionist, you need to lighten up also. Many children learn their behaviors from their parents, and if he sees that you are a stickler for details, your child will feel that this behavior is normal.
Many firstborn children have grown up to become successful businessmen. As a matter, many of our U.S, presidents have been firstborn sons. By helping your child to develop his good traits while minimizing the bad ones you can help him grow into a healthy, happy adult.