Dan Bacon asked:
The inclusion of women in the workforce has brought tremendous advancements to our society as a whole.
However, it has also changed the dating scene.
Until a few decades ago, a stereotypical role for women in a Western society was to take care of the home and rearing of any offspring, while the men went out and worked.
Because of this, most women had no source of income and depended entirely on men for their means and survival, which created a definite need for marriage to exist and to work.
Fast forward to 2007 and women are working in powerful positions in society, which often require traditionally masculine behaviours and psychology:
– Leadership of others.
– Assertiveness.
– Decisions based on logic, rather than feelings.
– Direct communication.
TV shows like Sex and they City have done an excellent job of characterizing a new generation of women who:
– Often don’t need the financial support of a man to survive.
– Can spend large amounts of money on a new dress or shoes.
– Can succeed in high-profile positions that were previously dominated by men.
– Have their own life and dreams.
– Put of getting married and ‘settling down’.
– Get in and out of dating relationships; often into their late 30s and 40s.
If a man turns on the radio these days, he might also hear this new generation of women singing about how he is no longer necessary to their survival.
Ouch!
Song lyrics released into the airwaves in 2006, from artists such as the Pussycat Dolls and Beyonce Knowles demonstrate this very well.
Pussycat Dolls:
“I don’t need a ring around my finger to make me feel complete…you know I got my own life…and I bought everything that’s in it.”
Beyonce Knowles:
“You must not know about me. I can have another you in a minute. So don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re irreplaceable.”
If that’s not enough to set off an alarm in the male psyche, the latest information released by the Australian Bureau of Statistics provide proof of the changes on a much larger scale:
– 1/3 of all marriages now end within five years.
– In 1976, marriage rates for the entire population were 63 in every 1,000 men and 61 in every 1,000 women. By 2001, this had declined to 31 and 28 respectively.
Not surprisingly, men – after having complete control of the reign for millions of years – are a little intimidated by all of these changes.
In addition to being intimidated by these changes, men are also increasingly unsure about how to behave around modern women in social situations.
One of the main reasons has been the prevalence of socially masculine behaviour by women. To illustrate the point, here is an example of masculine behaviour in action:
If a group of friends are sitting together at a cafe and one of the women wants to leave, she will traditionally structure her language in a feminine, indirect way to avoid taking on leadership of the men and women.
“Guys, I’m getting bored of this place.”
She will then usually wait for someone to respond with a suggestion that they leave the cafe. However, a man in the group will traditionally structure his language in a more direct, masculine way.
“Okay, let’s finish our coffees and head off. I’m bored of this place now.”
I use the word ‘traditionally’, because it’s now becoming very common for women to communicate in a direct, masculine way in social situations.
As mentioned at the start of this article, the fact that women have become more masculine in their behaviour and psychology has brought tremendous advancements to our society as a whole.
It’s not a bad thing at all.
But it can be for women, when it comes to the dating scene.
A consistent complaint from modern women is that they are rarely approached by men these days. To quote some of the women spoken to during the research:
“If a guy does work up the nerve to approach, he will usually be really intimidated by me anyway…and that’s such a turn off.”
“There must be something wrong with me, because men hardly approach me.”
“I am a confident girl – and yes, I’m assertive…I just need a man who is more confident than me.”